You can work really hard on dropping your bad habits, those activities and behaviors you engage in that have more negative consequences than positive benefits…
It’s funny, a lot of people may have heard of hiring a life coach, and been intrigued…But perhaps didn’t take action because the idea was so new, or not well understood.
It took me halfway through our first session to realize that a life coach was exactly what I had been looking for.
Coaches vary widely in their approach, background, training, style and ideal client!
Some coaches are very nuts and bolts, some are very spiritual and high level. Some coaches will excel at helping you reach specific goals, and some coaches will excel at helping you get good at reaching goals on your own! Some coaches are pragmatic and high-level/transformative at the same time.
In my opinion (certainly biased because this is the type of coach I am!), the best coaches will help you grow in line with how you are meant to be growing. For example, this may be a time in your life when you are learning to live in prosperity, or maybe this is a time in your life when you are learning to express your truth more often in the work arena.
Somewhat counter-intuitively, growing in your own way will help you in all of the areas of your life you’ve identified as needing improvement, even if the exact growth area seems totally unrelated. So, for example, let’s say you want a new job, but it becomes very apparent early in your coaching that you have no idea how to organize your time effectively. Working on your routines and discipline will end up leading directly to more satisfying career conditions. That’s just how it works.
Here are some things to look for if you want a truly satisfying coaching experience…
Green Flags (things that are good signs that this is excellent coaching for you!)
- Your conversations with your coach are different than conversations with friends and family
- You always leave a coaching conversation with new insights, or at least thoughts to ponder, about yourself
- You feel more confident in yourself
- You feel more confident that you are moving in the right directions
- There are some significant changes in your life, some of them even challenging, but you feel well equipped to master your moments
- You feel more of how you want to feel, be that happy, fulfilled, energetic, peaceful…
- You are getting lots of new ideas of things you could do in your life
- Your relationships are moving in healthy directions, or ending if they are unhealthy
- Your coach is clearly 100% focused on you
- You have no doubt that your coach “has your back”
- You know your coaching goals/objectives and you can measure/assess your progress
- You are frequently amazed at how fast/simply things seem to be transforming for you! (“I can’t believe how much of a difference this coaching has made for me!”)
Red Flags (signs this may not be the best coaching for you)
- Your coach seems to be giving you a lot of “advice”
- Your coach doesn’t seem to be listening to you
- It seems like nothing is changing
- You aren’t looking forward to talking to your coach
- You feel “pushed” (challenged and stimulated and expanded past your normal limits is good, feeling “pushed” into things probably isn’t!)
- You used to have great chemistry with your coach, but now it has dropped off
You may find that you find one coach that you LOVE and keep using for years. You may find that you have a coach that works great for you for a while, then you go off on your own. Or, you may find that different kinds of coaches work for you best at different times in your life.
To get started, do your research, and choose, 1, 2 or 3 coaches to have free sessions with. If you feel great about the first coach you talk to, give them a try for 1-3 months! Or, talk to a few coaches until you find someone you feel you click with.
There is no way a coach can prove to you that coaching is going to “work” for you without you giving it a try. You have to put yourself out there a bit and be willing to take a chance! The green flags and red flags listed above will help you assess early on if you are getting great coaching for YOU. When you connect with a great coach for you, there will be absolutely no stopping you in life. All of your dreams, even the ones you dared not dream, can come true. You will be accessing your unlimited potential, living the way that you want to be living, and absolutely in love with your life!
What is Laughter Coaching?
Why does it work?
How can you apply it to your life?
How can you bring more laughter, levity and energy shifts into your coaching?
Find out in this recording of my interview with Mary Rives of www.laughterinc.com !
[mc id=”147″ type=”audio”]My_Life_Coach_Laughter_Coaching[/mc]
The Top 2 Challenges that People Face
I have been surveying people for over a year by asking them for their top three challenges. Everyone who signs up for a free strategy session with me- fills out a form where they can list their top three challenges that they face. Consistently- wanting to feel peaceful and relaxed about money and desiring inspiring work have been the top two. ( I do, sometimes, find that during our initial discussion, these top two are really masking something else).
But let’s look at money issues and inspiring work.
You can feel peaceful and relaxed about money no matter how much money you have or lack of money that you have.
So, when you feel that bills are looming and overwhelming, how can you feel peaceful about money? Set the intention that your inner-peace is not related to money. Learn to be peaceful and relaxed in the present moment.
What do I mean by this? For example, let’s say you have a bill due on the fifteenth and it’s the fifth. You don’t know how you are going to pay this bill and it’s an important bill. Your past reaction to situations like this has been to fret, worry, and lose sleep. Instead of experiencing all the worry, you can bring yourself fully present through some deep breathes, feeling your feet on the floor, and recalling a moment when you successfully met a financial challenge. Pat yourself on the back for your success. Recognize that you have made it this far in life. As you calm down, your thinking clears and you are more open to intuition. You may get a brainstorm around taking care of that bill. Maybe you think of something you can sell, or another solution pops into your head which is exactly the right solution. Approach every money issue from a place of peace and calm.
What about inspiring work? You may have heard stories about people quitting their jobs and starting companies and eventually becoming millionaires. Yes, this can happen, but I am not here today to tell you to quit your job and start a business. I am here to tell you that no matter what you do, you can find something inspirational about it. If you have ever watched the reality TV show the Under Cover Boss- you have witnessed entry level employees with repetitive tasks and their lights still shine in their work.
I do think that everyone has a purpose – something that ignites passion and fulfillment. While you do inner work and soul searching to uncover this purpose and to determine your path, you can still shine at whatever you do. You can be inspired and inspire other people. The key is to find something that you love about the job. When I was in high school, I worked at a fast food restaurant and came home each night smelling like a French fry. There was a lot not to love about working in this environment, but I focused on the customers, I loved talking to people and helping them. Guess what I love most about my coaching practice today? Talking to people and helping them. I knew my purpose as a teenager. Yes, I lost my way a few times as an adult, but the essence of what I love about my work has stayed the same. My work, now, just exists on a higher level. My challenge to you today- is for you to find something inspiring about your current work. As you learn what inspires you- your path will unfold.
Stop waiting for some day to be peaceful, relaxed and inspired. You can have all of these elements in your life today.
Post your comments here.
In our group coaching class tonight, we started an interesting discussion about sharing concepts with life coaching clients. If we have an idea about what might be going on, how do we share that without leading or forcing our ideas onto our clients?
The discussion arose out of our topic of Using the Ego to Your Advantage. We talked about ways we could identify when our egos were feeding us some disempowering thoughts, become conscious of that, and find the empowering approaches, because of this consciousness. Very useful in discovering and living truth and love, and freeing ourselves from illusion and suffering.
The question came up, how can we avail our clients of this idea? In real life coaching examples of a client who reacted from ego at a meeting, how might we, as coaches, respond?
Here are some of my thoughts…
- Of course, we are not coaching when we are leading our clients anywhere…If you find yourself tempted to lead, you are already outside of the coaching groove…
- Questions that can illuminate the situation will always lead to more understanding…Consciousness automatically leads to learning
- You’ll be more natural if you are not in the habit of making too many assumptions about what is going on
- Commenting on things you’ve learned in your experience as a coach (or a human) CAN be appropriate…This might sound something like…I’ve observed many times that people sometimes overreact when they feel threatened…Could that be part of what was happening for you? Again, you want this to be a real question, not one that you already “know” the answer you “want” to hear.
- Introducing clients to concepts can be appropriate as well. This can be stated just as such…You putting forth an idea that you are asking your client to consider if it is true for them or could be helpful for them.
Again, as a coach, if you are making assumptions about what a client “needs” to know, you will be getting in the way. Let the client’s wisdom emerge via your non-judgmental, open, curious, present, loving approach.
I’ve made a list of some powerful life coaching questions you might ask yourself or a client.
Here are some examples:
- What might be less important than you think?
- If you had to completely rewrite your personality, and you could only keep three things that are really important to you, what qualities would you keep?
- What do you waste the most time on?
- If you could change one thing about life on earth, what would it be?
- What belief would be hardest for you to let go of?
See more life coaching questions here!