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Top Five Regrets of the Dying

The Guardian recently published a great article about a nurse’s discussions with people at the end of their lives.  What did they look back on and regret?

There were some common themes!

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this is a list very consistent with the major themes of coaching.

Happiness matters, and is largely under your control.

Most people I speak with are giving more to their job than their job gives to them.

Most people I speak with have dreams, values, and personal characteristics they aren’t living.

Most people get true fulfillment in life from their personal relationships.

Most people can gain immeasurably by expressing their feelings.  It is a key to not only deepening relationships, but also understanding yourself, who you want to be, and accessing the wisdom and energy required to create a truly great life.

Read the full article here…Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

 

The Fallacy of Work-Life Balance
May 17, 2011
5

Do you find yourself being challenged to find a healthy balance between your career and life outside of work?  The term work-life balance first appeared in 1986 in the US in response to the increasing demands of work and career and their effects on ones’ lifestyle outside of work.  Many companies, as well as employees, have struggled with this concept since that point.  There have been endless corporate programs, training sessions, and efforts to try and obtain an effective balance between work and life outside of work.  Is the term work-life balance something that you should really be striving for, or is it a complete fallacy?

The term work-life balance is really misleading at best.  Balance is defined as “a state of bodily equilibrium”.  So, the term itself assumes that your work and life outside of work should be in complete equilibrium.  While this seems like something to strive for, do you really want to have complete balance between your work and your life outside of work?  What does that even mean?  By defining this as your goal, are you setting yourself up to chase after something that is not only impossible, but perhaps not even desirable?

Perhaps a better way to define work-life balance would be to slightly shift your goal to one of work-life integration.  Integration is defined as “behavior, as of an individual, that is in harmony with the environment”.  By shifting your focus to integration instead of balance, it sets you free from chasing after the impossible equilibrium of your work and life, and allows you to determine how to create an environment that is in harmony with your overall life goals.  Which one sounds more empowering to you?