Here is a distinction that can help you in your decision making process, and in your post-decision self-affirmation responsibilities…
Decisions are about Right Choice, not “the right choice”…
Here’s what we typically imagine are components of the right choice (meaning choosing the correct alternative):
- Everything turns out wonderfully
- Everything continues to turn out wonderfully, preferably until the end of time
- No one is upset by the choice
- No one will criticize us for the choice
- Everything turns out so wonderfully we couldn’t possibly have occasion to second-guess our choice
Reading the above list, is it any wonder we stress ourselves out so much in making decisions? There are no paths we can choose that could ever satisfy this magical list of qualifications for the right choice.
What do I mean by Right Choice? This a healthy choice, based on self-affirming criteria.
- The alternative chosen is an alignment with our values, to the best of our current understanding and abilities
- The alternative chosen gives us some measure of a feeling of truth, peace or rightness inside, to the best of our ability to perceive
- We are in a place of compassion for all involved, to the best of our abilities
- We are not particularly concerned what others feel or say about our choice, although we forgive ourselves if we are sensitive to criticism
- We don’t second guess our choice because we already give ourselves credit for doing the best we could under the circumstances!
Does Right Choice seem a little different than “the right choice”?
Does Right Choice feel a little different than “the right choice”?
Can you see how it might be easier to be in a place of Right Choice?
The great thing about Right Choice, is it made based on factors that are healthy for you to strive for control over. In “the right choice”, you are trying to control the universe, which is always stressful, and impossible.
And, the beautiful irony is…If you keep yourself in a place of Right Choice, you actually always will be making the right choice.