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Top Five Regrets of the Dying

The Guardian recently published a great article about a nurse’s discussions with people at the end of their lives.  What did they look back on and regret?

There were some common themes!

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this is a list very consistent with the major themes of coaching.

Happiness matters, and is largely under your control.

Most people I speak with are giving more to their job than their job gives to them.

Most people I speak with have dreams, values, and personal characteristics they aren’t living.

Most people get true fulfillment in life from their personal relationships.

Most people can gain immeasurably by expressing their feelings.  It is a key to not only deepening relationships, but also understanding yourself, who you want to be, and accessing the wisdom and energy required to create a truly great life.

Read the full article here…Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

 

Top 5 Things To Love About the Snowstorm!

The snowstorm hitting the Northeast, Ontario and Atlantic provinces certainly is a challenge!  Yet, like all challenges it contains some great opportunities for learning, appreciation, enjoyment and fulfillment.  There is a lot to love here!

Top 5 Things to Love About the Snowstorm:

5.  A Change From Your Usual Routine (a big one!)

It’s great when the weather simply makes it impossible to engage in your usual responsibilities.  This is a chance to take a mini-break from work, school and even your usual mental concerns.  Allow yourself this break!  What does this break allow you to do that you usually can not?  Play in the snow is an obvious first option!

4.  A Super Chance for Learning

Yes, in a situation like this, some things are not going to go perfectly.  That’s ok, that’s what growth looks like!  This is a great chance for individuals, and towns, cities, states, provinces and countries to refine methods of communication, mutual support, and logistics.  For example, we have ever increasing numbers of cool technologies now, cell phone cameras, Twitter, Facebook, crowd sourcing…How can they be used in situations like this?  How can we engage weather events in better, smarter more organized ways?  It doesn’t seem like there is going to be a decrease in challenging and unique weather events any time soon.  No time like the present to get smart!

3. Exercise Your Appreciation Muscles!

The corner variety store owner.  The snowplowing crews.  The police, firefighters and emergency workers.  The city workers and administrators.  How often do you stop and give notice to how much these people help you?  Not just in emergencies, but all the time!  There is a complex network of people around you, helping you live the very best life you can.  If it isn’t always obvious, it should be obvious right now.  Feel the appreciation and share the love with a heartfelt thanks!

2. A Chance to Commune and Cooperate with Our Neighbors

We may have our Facebook friends, our co-workers and our families, but how often do we actually come out of our houses and talk to our neighbors?  How often do we get to pitch in and help?  Helping your community feels great and can make a huge contribution.   Who needs help digging out?  Is there an elderly person in the neighborhood you might check on?  Do you have extra supplies you can share?  Are there any pets or wildlife in distress?  If you can’t find a way to pitch in and help, you’re not trying!  (Conversely, if you need help, ask for it!  Most people would love to help you if you tell them what you need.)

1. A Chance to Have Quality (Quiet!) Time with Our Family

Typical day at home…Everyone is in their own room staring at their own screens.  There’s nothing like a power outage to bring everyone into the same room.  And, gasp, talk to each other!  Talk, play games, tell stories, work together and create memories.   Maybe even a little snuggling to stay warm.  🙂 There can be nothing more refreshing, fulfilling and enjoyable than quality time with your family.  Even if it wasn’t necessarily by choice.  You may find that you enjoy it so much, you make some new resolutions, like one “blackout” evening per month from now on!

True fulfillment in life does not necessarily come when everything is “fine” and “normal”.  True fulfillment comes in growth, creativity, overcoming challenges, helping others and connecting with other people.  This snowstorm is a great opportunity for the quality moments that develop character and add depth and meaning to our lives.

The Top 5 Things You Secretly Have Going For You

These are things that work in your favour, that you may not often, or have never, considered!

5.  It is easier to create good results than “bad” results.

4.  If you don’t know what to do, it’s not time to do anything.  Relax.

3.  You can’t help but grow.  Translation, it’s all good and it’s all helping you.

2.  The path to everything you desire is very simple:  Endeavor to be happy.

1.  There is infinite power and choice in this very moment…

 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a very important concept when it comes to coaching, and when it comes to living a conscious, fulfilled, successful life!

Enjoy this discussion with Featured Coach Jessica Reddy of www.jessicareddy.com

[mc id=”152″ type=”audio”]My Life Coach Special Event – Mindfulness[/mc]

Laughter Coaching

What is Laughter Coaching?

Why does it work?

How can you apply it to your life?

How can you bring more laughter, levity and energy shifts into your coaching?

Find out in this recording of my interview with Mary Rives of www.laughterinc.com !

 

[mc id=”147″ type=”audio”]My_Life_Coach_Laughter_Coaching[/mc]

Dealing with Food Addiction

More and more, people are coming to realize that food is taking the role of an addictive substance in their life.

It can be a real challenge, since, we do need to eat, and it does have such an immediate impact on our bodies, brains and, often, emotions.

I found a great article on CNN on food addiction

10 Habits of Highly Organized People
August 2, 2011
0

Here is a good article on CNN, 10 Habits of Highly Organized People

It seems to me it might be called, 10 Habits of Not-Normally Highly Organized People that Don’t Want to be Overwhelmed Anymore, because it is very good advice for those of us that aren’t naturally organized.

I find that people consistently UNDERESTIMATE how draining clutter and disorganization is for them!  Simplifying your environment and your life can have unexpected benefits to your energy and your outcomes!

101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy

Ultimately, coaching is about helping people reach holistic health.

When people are at their best, they tend to perform well.

Here is a great page that summarizes 101 crucial ways to be healthy.

Some of my favs:

42. Love what you’ve got

Treat your body with respect and appreciation. Focus on what it can do, not what it can’t. Find something to celebrate, not something to criticize.

73. Embrace play

Fun, novelty, humor and joy are key sources of energy, strength and inspiration. If you’re suffering from a case of fun-deficit disorder, remedy that situation ASAP.

88. Give your best gifts

Developing and sharing them endows you with enthusiasm and energy. Neglecting or squandering them slowly kills you.

 

Proactively choosing health *is* revolutionary.  We need revolution.

What Oprah Knows for Sure Video – Vision, Voice and Vocation

Oprah said some amazing things in her final show.

I especially loved this part, about what she knows for sure.

It reminded me a lot of the Vision, Voice and Vocation work I’ve been doing…

You can watch Oprah here…

Successful Goal Setting

As a life and executive coach I do a lot of work with people around their goals. Setting goals puts you in the driver’s seat, giving you the power to transform your life or take a company to another level. Successfully setting and executing goals is not rocket science but there is a tried and true way that works for my clients and me. Sticking to this program guarantees success. It doesn’t matter whether your goals are personal or they are used to direct a large enterprise, the steps and the pitfalls are identical. I’ll take you through a quick tour. If you like, you can identify a goal of yours and do a test run of the system.

The steps to executing goals are simple, unambiguous and easy to follow and should be practiced every day. Skipping one step increases the odds that you won’t realize your goal.

The first step to goal setting is to have absolute belief and faith in the process. If you don’t believe you can absolutely transform your life and get what you want, then you might as well put down your pencil and do something else. If you are in doubt, look around you. Everything you can see began as a thought. If you identify something you really want, you can make it happen if want it badly enough.

Visualize what you want. Think of what you deeply desire in your life or where you want your company to be a year from now. What has to change for that to happen? What transformations need to take place? What do you need to know or learn? What spiritual, emotional, personal, financial, social or physical properties need to be addressed? The clearer you can get with each of these dimensions, brings your vision into sharp focus. The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it will be to focus on making it happen. Write down as many things as you can think about. Not being absolutely clear about your vision will make taking action very difficult.

Get it down! Writing down your goals is key to success. A 1953 Yale study followed 100 students to see how they ended up. Only 3% had written goals. Ten years later, this 3% was happier, more satisfied and had reached the goals they had set out to achieve. More importantly, the net worth of that 3% was greater than the rest of the 97% combined. By writing down your goals, you become a creator. Failure to write down your goals often means you will forget them or won’t focus on them, most likely like that other 97%.

If you have multiple goals, you may need to chunk elements of your vision into individual goals. Having a list of twenty or thirty objectives can be hard to keep track of and even more difficult to focus on. Chunking involves grouping “like” items together. For instance let’s say you have goals around taking your business to the next level. You might chunk your goals into financial, marketing, organizational and so on. It’s easier to focus on a few goals than a list of 20-odd items. Failure to chunk results in failure to focus and loss of direction.

The next step is to identify a purpose for each goal. Knowing why you want to achieve your goals is powerful. Identifying the purpose of your goal will help you instantly recognize why you want that particular goal and whether it’s worth working toward.. Knowing why you want something furnishes motivation to see it through to the finish. After all, if the purpose of earning a million dollars is to put it in the bank to save for a rainy day, you probably won’t be as motivated as if you need it to pay for your child’s cancer treatment. Your purpose says a lot about you as a person and your goals.

The next step of goal setting is to commit to your goals. This might sound obvious to you but it’s a step that has huge consequences when it is taken lightly. Write a few pages about why and how you are committing to each goal; why it’s important to you, what it means to you, why the outcome is necessary and what are you going to do to make it happen. Without strong commitment you aren’t likely to follow through.

Stay focused. By staying focused on your goals, you manifest. You may not know how you’ll reach your goals but when you make a daily practice of focusing on your goals, they become easier to reach. The more you focus, the more people and things will come into your life that help make your goals a reality. Having your goals written down somewhere where you will see them each day is a good idea. Your mind will notice that there is a discrepancy between where you are now and where you want to be which will create pressure. Pressure is motivation to change. If you lose focus you can always bring it back. Without a regular practice of focusing on your goals you will get distracted by something and your goal will disappear.

The next step is to create a plan of action. Being really clear about what you want, knowing your purpose, writing your goals down, committing to them, and staying focused gives you the power of clarity to write down a list of action steps the need to be executed over the year. You may not know all the steps ahead of time but you will know the next steps that take you in that direction. Even if you don’t know how you are going to do something, write it down and when the time comes, you will be surprised at the options that may appear. Having goals without a plan of action is like trying to complete a complex project without a project plan. There is too much going on, it’s too disorganized, you miss deadlines and you don’t have priorities. Eventually you get frustrated and the project/goal fails or collapses under it’s own weight.

To show how committed you are to your goals, think of something you can do right now that will get you moving toward fulfilling your goal. Even if it’s just making a phone call, do it now. You will be surprised how this simple step reinforces all the previous steps and gets you motivated and moving toward what you desire. Why wait? If you are not motivated to so something right now, how are you going to get motivated tomorrow?

To push through when things get tough, you will have to hold yourself accountable unless you bring in outside help like a coach. It makes sense to have someone besides yourself who can provide valuable feedback at critical junctures, like in the visualization stage. Some people tell their friends and family about their goals which gives them the accountability they need to stick to it. Once you start to achieve some success you will find it easier to keep motivated. Consider having a backup plan. What can you do if you get stuck for too long?

Make it part of your day to review your goals and take action. This will keep your goals alive and top of mind. By following these steps and practicing your goals each day, you have all the elements you need to succeed and achieve your goals. It isn’t always easy to push through. Some days will be easier than others but if you keep focused on your goals you will be amazed at the progress you will make. Remember, almost everything begins as a thought. You can be what you imagine if you follow these simple goal-setting rules.

giant steps life coaching goal setting