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The Bass Ackword Secret to Changing Your Behavior

Typical scenario:  We perform below our expectations of ourselves.

Standard reaction:  We don’t like that.  It upsets us.  We set a new expectation to do better next time.

Usual outcome:  Our performance stays the sames or gets “worse”.

Sound familiar?  Our standard reaction to behavior that is less than optimal is to encounter the behavior with negative energy, thinking (if we think at all), that our disapproval will get us better results next time.

How well has that approach worked for you?

Try this:  Meet all your thoughts, feelings, actions and “results” with approval.

If you can’t bring yourself to do that, hire a coach and find out what it means to be unconditionally friendly with yourself, and how it can transform your whole life.

 

 

Bully/Protector 8 vs. Victim 6 – Enneagram Personality Types in the Real Housewives of Vancouver
July 4, 2012
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Yes, it’s true, I do watch reality TV!

Much of it is contrived (yes, producers, we can tell!), yet you can still discern some very interesting human dynamics play out.

Tonight is the final reunion show of the Real Housewives of Vancouver.

There seem to be some Enneagram dynamics going on, a common one, between 8’s and 6’s.

Jody and Ronnie both seem to be 8’s.  8’s have the ability to be great protectors, but also great “bullies” towards the weak.  Mary seems to be a 6.

Given Mary’s complaints about Ronnie (you should stand by me, you should protect me), Ronnie used to fulfill the role of the protector 8, while Mary filled the role of the loyal 6 in their friendship.

When Jody came on the scene, things changed.  Jody seems to display some of the more  challenging 8 characteristics (8’s are even known as “the Challenger’s!).  She “attacks” Mary, going right for her weakest spots.

Ronnie seems to have been somewhat turned off by Mary’s “weakness”, and her perceived lack of loyalty when she dared comment on Ronnie’s drinking.  That made Jody an attractive ally to Ronnie.

Summary of my guesses of the types:

Jody, Ronnie – Type 8 – The Challenger – The Powerful, Dynamic Type:  Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful and Confrontational

Mary – Type 6 – The Loyalist – The Committed, Security (Safety)-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious and Suspicious

Christina – May be Type 7 – The Enthusiast – The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive and Scattered

Reiko – Possibly Type 5 – The Investigator/Observer – The Intense, Cerebral Type:  Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive and Isolated – I am guessing this type because she does tend to be very observant.  She would have to be a fairly highly developed 5, however, with her love of instinctual activities such as racing.

Watch for more interesting dynamics tonight!

 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a very important concept when it comes to coaching, and when it comes to living a conscious, fulfilled, successful life!

Enjoy this discussion with Featured Coach Jessica Reddy of www.jessicareddy.com

[mc id=”152″ type=”audio”]My Life Coach Special Event – Mindfulness[/mc]

Big News – Free Lifetime eCoaching Membership
March 27, 2012
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This is huge!

Right now you can become one of my eClients through my eCoaching program, a lifetime membership, for free!

You’ll get access to all the tools my Life Coaching and Executive coaching clients get, and 3 group coaching calls a month.

I’m really not sure how long I’ll keep this open, so be bold and join now!

Free Lifetime eCoaching Membership

10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

This is a great list of 10 signs you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship…If you suspect it, you owe it to yourself to read this!

Top Five Backdoor Methods to Holistic Health and Self-Development

OK, so, it can end up being a little self-defeating to always be “working on yourself.”

There really is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect just the way you are!  A constant quest for self-development and/or enlightenment can actually get in the way of your growth.

So, if you are feeling a bit “stuck” why not try one of these backdoor methods?  I’ll expand more about why these methods work on my www.CoachMichele.com blog.

All you really need to know is intending to improve these areas of your life will bring a lot of systems into alignment such that in addition to creating something positive in your life, you’ll also be coming to greater holistic health and development as a human being.

  1. Strive for a very high level of physical fitness
  2. Learn to be at absolute peace around your family, immediate and extended
  3. Rid yourself of your “small” addictions (using food, shopping, entertainment, etc. to modify your mood)
  4. Truly organize your physical environment
  5. Double your level of intimacy with your partner

Choosing just one of those items, and making it a focus in your life, will bring lasting benefits to all areas of your life!

Happy Transforming!

 

Personal Success and Leadership Workshop

I learned of a very practical, yet high level, personal success and leadership workshop.  It includes excellent career exploration aspects.

You can take it in a self-directed fashion, or, you can conduct the workshop for others.

It was originally designed, by Robert White of www.pslinstitute.com, for teens…However it can be great for adults as well!

A super resource…

101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy

Ultimately, coaching is about helping people reach holistic health.

When people are at their best, they tend to perform well.

Here is a great page that summarizes 101 crucial ways to be healthy.

Some of my favs:

42. Love what you’ve got

Treat your body with respect and appreciation. Focus on what it can do, not what it can’t. Find something to celebrate, not something to criticize.

73. Embrace play

Fun, novelty, humor and joy are key sources of energy, strength and inspiration. If you’re suffering from a case of fun-deficit disorder, remedy that situation ASAP.

88. Give your best gifts

Developing and sharing them endows you with enthusiasm and energy. Neglecting or squandering them slowly kills you.

 

Proactively choosing health *is* revolutionary.  We need revolution.

Mommy Weight Loss Series – See Coach Michele on Marilyn!

Well, the Mommy Weight Loss Series on the Marilyn Denis show is going great!

People have really responded to the coaching aspect of the show, it’s wonderful to see coaching ideas getting national play.

Tomorrow, Friday, May 13th, is the big reveal…You’ll want to see for yourself the amazing changes the women have made!

Thanks so much for joining us!  🙂

Successful Goal Setting

As a life and executive coach I do a lot of work with people around their goals. Setting goals puts you in the driver’s seat, giving you the power to transform your life or take a company to another level. Successfully setting and executing goals is not rocket science but there is a tried and true way that works for my clients and me. Sticking to this program guarantees success. It doesn’t matter whether your goals are personal or they are used to direct a large enterprise, the steps and the pitfalls are identical. I’ll take you through a quick tour. If you like, you can identify a goal of yours and do a test run of the system.

The steps to executing goals are simple, unambiguous and easy to follow and should be practiced every day. Skipping one step increases the odds that you won’t realize your goal.

The first step to goal setting is to have absolute belief and faith in the process. If you don’t believe you can absolutely transform your life and get what you want, then you might as well put down your pencil and do something else. If you are in doubt, look around you. Everything you can see began as a thought. If you identify something you really want, you can make it happen if want it badly enough.

Visualize what you want. Think of what you deeply desire in your life or where you want your company to be a year from now. What has to change for that to happen? What transformations need to take place? What do you need to know or learn? What spiritual, emotional, personal, financial, social or physical properties need to be addressed? The clearer you can get with each of these dimensions, brings your vision into sharp focus. The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it will be to focus on making it happen. Write down as many things as you can think about. Not being absolutely clear about your vision will make taking action very difficult.

Get it down! Writing down your goals is key to success. A 1953 Yale study followed 100 students to see how they ended up. Only 3% had written goals. Ten years later, this 3% was happier, more satisfied and had reached the goals they had set out to achieve. More importantly, the net worth of that 3% was greater than the rest of the 97% combined. By writing down your goals, you become a creator. Failure to write down your goals often means you will forget them or won’t focus on them, most likely like that other 97%.

If you have multiple goals, you may need to chunk elements of your vision into individual goals. Having a list of twenty or thirty objectives can be hard to keep track of and even more difficult to focus on. Chunking involves grouping “like” items together. For instance let’s say you have goals around taking your business to the next level. You might chunk your goals into financial, marketing, organizational and so on. It’s easier to focus on a few goals than a list of 20-odd items. Failure to chunk results in failure to focus and loss of direction.

The next step is to identify a purpose for each goal. Knowing why you want to achieve your goals is powerful. Identifying the purpose of your goal will help you instantly recognize why you want that particular goal and whether it’s worth working toward.. Knowing why you want something furnishes motivation to see it through to the finish. After all, if the purpose of earning a million dollars is to put it in the bank to save for a rainy day, you probably won’t be as motivated as if you need it to pay for your child’s cancer treatment. Your purpose says a lot about you as a person and your goals.

The next step of goal setting is to commit to your goals. This might sound obvious to you but it’s a step that has huge consequences when it is taken lightly. Write a few pages about why and how you are committing to each goal; why it’s important to you, what it means to you, why the outcome is necessary and what are you going to do to make it happen. Without strong commitment you aren’t likely to follow through.

Stay focused. By staying focused on your goals, you manifest. You may not know how you’ll reach your goals but when you make a daily practice of focusing on your goals, they become easier to reach. The more you focus, the more people and things will come into your life that help make your goals a reality. Having your goals written down somewhere where you will see them each day is a good idea. Your mind will notice that there is a discrepancy between where you are now and where you want to be which will create pressure. Pressure is motivation to change. If you lose focus you can always bring it back. Without a regular practice of focusing on your goals you will get distracted by something and your goal will disappear.

The next step is to create a plan of action. Being really clear about what you want, knowing your purpose, writing your goals down, committing to them, and staying focused gives you the power of clarity to write down a list of action steps the need to be executed over the year. You may not know all the steps ahead of time but you will know the next steps that take you in that direction. Even if you don’t know how you are going to do something, write it down and when the time comes, you will be surprised at the options that may appear. Having goals without a plan of action is like trying to complete a complex project without a project plan. There is too much going on, it’s too disorganized, you miss deadlines and you don’t have priorities. Eventually you get frustrated and the project/goal fails or collapses under it’s own weight.

To show how committed you are to your goals, think of something you can do right now that will get you moving toward fulfilling your goal. Even if it’s just making a phone call, do it now. You will be surprised how this simple step reinforces all the previous steps and gets you motivated and moving toward what you desire. Why wait? If you are not motivated to so something right now, how are you going to get motivated tomorrow?

To push through when things get tough, you will have to hold yourself accountable unless you bring in outside help like a coach. It makes sense to have someone besides yourself who can provide valuable feedback at critical junctures, like in the visualization stage. Some people tell their friends and family about their goals which gives them the accountability they need to stick to it. Once you start to achieve some success you will find it easier to keep motivated. Consider having a backup plan. What can you do if you get stuck for too long?

Make it part of your day to review your goals and take action. This will keep your goals alive and top of mind. By following these steps and practicing your goals each day, you have all the elements you need to succeed and achieve your goals. It isn’t always easy to push through. Some days will be easier than others but if you keep focused on your goals you will be amazed at the progress you will make. Remember, almost everything begins as a thought. You can be what you imagine if you follow these simple goal-setting rules.

giant steps life coaching goal setting