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How to Find a Life Coach
March 13, 2017
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If you are reading this, you are well on the way to finding a coach. You are surrounded by amazing coaches, and only need to press the “Request a Free Session” button to get started!

First, however, I will speak in general about finding a coach.

Here are some things you can look for, before you have a free session…

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How to Treat People

I ran across this quote today, and it was in perfect timing:

Read more

You Always Have a Choice

You always have a choice in any given moment.

It is a choice of how to focus. What to give your attention to. Your attention is the most valuable and powerful asset you have. Your attention has the power to change your world, and change THE world.

Read more

Gratitude Gives You So Much More…
Life coach Bradley Foster

I’ve been considering gratitude a lot lately. I never used to think much about it. When we are a certain way we don’t give it much of a thought. Now I notice it now and appreciate it. I really notice when someone is lacking in gratitude. Don Draper, the main character in the hit series Mad Men could be the poster boy for the absence of gratitude. He Is portrayed as one of the luckiest men on Madison Ave. yet he never acknowledges his good fortune. Lack of gratitude can make your life much emptier and unhappy.  Read more

Ya, But, What Does That Thought Get You?

As a Coach, I’m not a big fan of ya, buts!  Read more

How Long Should You Keep Your Life Coach?
August 7, 2013
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working with a life coachOnce you hire a life coach, how long should you keep them on?  3 months, 6 months, a year, many years?

Simply, it depends on how long you want a partner helping you create good things in your life!

If you have a very specific short-term goal you’d like to achieve, you may work with your coach only for a few months.  (It’s generally not recommended to work with a coach less than three months…It’s often hard to permanently integrate change in a shorter period of time.  You need some real-life applying your new knowledge time!)

Many people create some wonderful results with their coach, then just keep using them!  A relationship with a coach that “gets you”, knows how to motivate you, and is familiar with your common “pitfalls” can be absolutely invaluable.

Those that keep their coaches on for years, tend to go on to accomplish significant change or achievements, such as serious career advancement, major career change, or writing a book, for example.

Perhaps the most significant achievement for people that keep their coach on long term, is their level of personal fulfillment, and amount of positive contribution they make to the world.

Good stuff!

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

The Guardian recently published a great article about a nurse’s discussions with people at the end of their lives.  What did they look back on and regret?

There were some common themes!

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this is a list very consistent with the major themes of coaching.

Happiness matters, and is largely under your control.

Most people I speak with are giving more to their job than their job gives to them.

Most people I speak with have dreams, values, and personal characteristics they aren’t living.

Most people get true fulfillment in life from their personal relationships.

Most people can gain immeasurably by expressing their feelings.  It is a key to not only deepening relationships, but also understanding yourself, who you want to be, and accessing the wisdom and energy required to create a truly great life.

Read the full article here…Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

 

What is Great Coaching For YOU?

Coaches vary widely in their approach, background, training, style and ideal client!

Some coaches are very nuts and bolts, some are very spiritual and high level.  Some coaches will excel at helping you reach specific goals, and some coaches will excel at helping you get good at reaching goals on your own!  Some coaches are pragmatic and high-level/transformative at the same time.

In my opinion (certainly biased because this is the type of coach I am!), the best coaches will help you grow in line with how you are meant to be growing.  For example, this may be a time in your life when you are learning to live in prosperity, or maybe this is a time in your life when you are learning to express your truth more often in the work arena.

Somewhat counter-intuitively, growing in your own way will help you in all of the areas of your life you’ve identified as needing improvement, even if the exact growth area seems totally unrelated.  So, for example, let’s say you want a new job, but it becomes very apparent early in your coaching that you have no idea how to organize your time effectively.  Working on your routines and discipline will end up leading directly to more satisfying career conditions.  That’s just how it works.

Here are some things to look for if you want a truly satisfying coaching experience…

Green Flags (things that are good signs that this is excellent coaching for you!)

  • Your conversations with your coach are different than conversations with friends and family
  • You always leave a coaching conversation with new insights, or at least thoughts to ponder, about yourself
  • You feel more confident in yourself
  • You feel more confident that you are moving in the right directions
  • There are some significant changes in your life, some of them even challenging, but you feel well equipped to master your moments
  • You feel more of how you want to feel, be that happy, fulfilled, energetic, peaceful…
  • You are getting lots of new ideas of things you could do in your life
  • Your relationships are moving in healthy directions, or ending if they are unhealthy
  • Your coach is clearly 100% focused on you
  • You have no doubt that your coach “has your back”
  • You know your coaching goals/objectives and you can measure/assess your progress
  • You are frequently amazed at how fast/simply things seem to be transforming for you!  (“I can’t believe how much of a difference this coaching has made for me!”)

Red Flags (signs this may not be the best coaching for you)

  • Your coach seems to be giving you a lot of “advice”
  • Your coach doesn’t seem to be listening to you
  • It seems like nothing is changing
  • You aren’t looking forward to talking to your coach
  • You feel “pushed” (challenged and stimulated and expanded past your normal limits is good, feeling “pushed” into things probably isn’t!)
  • You used to have great chemistry with your coach, but now it has dropped off

You may find that you find one coach that you LOVE and keep using for years.  You may find that you have a coach that works great for you for a while, then you go off on your own.  Or, you may find that different kinds of coaches work for you best at different times in your life.

To get started, do your research, and choose, 1, 2 or 3 coaches to have free sessions with.  If you feel great about the first coach you talk to, give them a try for 1-3 months!  Or, talk to a few coaches until you find someone you feel you click with.

There is no way a coach can prove to you that coaching is going to “work” for you without you giving it a try.  You have to put yourself out there a bit and be willing to take a chance!   The green flags and red flags listed above will help you assess early on if you are getting great coaching for YOU.  When you connect with a great coach for you, there will be absolutely no stopping you in life.  All of your dreams, even the ones you dared not dream, can come true.  You will be accessing your unlimited potential, living the way that you want to be living, and absolutely in love with your life!

The Bass Ackword Secret to Changing Your Behavior

Typical scenario:  We perform below our expectations of ourselves.

Standard reaction:  We don’t like that.  It upsets us.  We set a new expectation to do better next time.

Usual outcome:  Our performance stays the sames or gets “worse”.

Sound familiar?  Our standard reaction to behavior that is less than optimal is to encounter the behavior with negative energy, thinking (if we think at all), that our disapproval will get us better results next time.

How well has that approach worked for you?

Try this:  Meet all your thoughts, feelings, actions and “results” with approval.

If you can’t bring yourself to do that, hire a coach and find out what it means to be unconditionally friendly with yourself, and how it can transform your whole life.

 

 

Bully/Protector 8 vs. Victim 6 – Enneagram Personality Types in the Real Housewives of Vancouver
July 4, 2012
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Yes, it’s true, I do watch reality TV!

Much of it is contrived (yes, producers, we can tell!), yet you can still discern some very interesting human dynamics play out.

Tonight is the final reunion show of the Real Housewives of Vancouver.

There seem to be some Enneagram dynamics going on, a common one, between 8’s and 6’s.

Jody and Ronnie both seem to be 8’s.  8’s have the ability to be great protectors, but also great “bullies” towards the weak.  Mary seems to be a 6.

Given Mary’s complaints about Ronnie (you should stand by me, you should protect me), Ronnie used to fulfill the role of the protector 8, while Mary filled the role of the loyal 6 in their friendship.

When Jody came on the scene, things changed.  Jody seems to display some of the more  challenging 8 characteristics (8’s are even known as “the Challenger’s!).  She “attacks” Mary, going right for her weakest spots.

Ronnie seems to have been somewhat turned off by Mary’s “weakness”, and her perceived lack of loyalty when she dared comment on Ronnie’s drinking.  That made Jody an attractive ally to Ronnie.

Summary of my guesses of the types:

Jody, Ronnie – Type 8 – The Challenger – The Powerful, Dynamic Type:  Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful and Confrontational

Mary – Type 6 – The Loyalist – The Committed, Security (Safety)-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious and Suspicious

Christina – May be Type 7 – The Enthusiast – The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive and Scattered

Reiko – Possibly Type 5 – The Investigator/Observer – The Intense, Cerebral Type:  Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive and Isolated – I am guessing this type because she does tend to be very observant.  She would have to be a fairly highly developed 5, however, with her love of instinctual activities such as racing.

Watch for more interesting dynamics tonight!